Gloomy rainy Friday

It's about as grey and dismal a day as you can get today, with rain pouring down, but it's not too cold, about 48 degrees. I am going over to Penneys at lunch to exchange some jeans I bought Tim the other day (I grabbed the wrong size, got the waist and length meaurements backwards). I have half a can of turkey chili in the fridge for lunch and a banana. I got a letter in the mail this week from the doctor's office after my physical exam last week, and I have to go in next Friday to talk to him about my cholestrol test results. They didn't even tell me on the lab report they sent what the numbers are! Usually they do. I know it must be bad. Last year it was 240, and he wanted to put me on medication, I asked for more time to eat better/exercise to get it down and he said okay. But I didn't go back to get checked and a year went by, without me being that good. It has been hard to exercise having this advanced hip arthritis, I can't walk too fast or far anymore. I know though that you are supposed to keep moving having arthritis, but when it's excruciating not fun. Anyway, I am sure this time I will have to go on medication. I am going into see one of the orthopedic surgeons I saw last year next week. He is the one who sent me out for cortisone hip shots last May, and I felt really great for about 3 or 4 months till they wore off. I am going to talk to him about getting some more shots. I am praying for healing, for God to do a miracle, and I have friends/family praying for me, but I know sometimes healing comes through medicine, surgery, etc. and isn't always instant or a miracle...although I have no doubts God could do it. I think I am going to have to bite the bullet and get at least one hip replacement surgery this year. My whole life is shrinking and become so much more physically limited, and I hate it. I am only 52, not 92! Everyone I've talked to that have had hip replacement surgery are all glad they did it. I think part of my problem is I just haven't accepted totally yet that this has happened to me. But chronic pain for the past year has really done its number and I am ready for some relief.