Thanks to everyone for your nice comments left yesterday. I hope I didn't come across as too much blaming other women for not being real. I can be just as 'unreal' as anyone else out there, although my heart longs to be authentic always. I am sure (no, wait, I know!) I have fallen into that trap myself and not been real with someone else who needed my 'realness' and authenticity. Maybe I 'bible-thumped' him or her. Maybe I said "well, if you just do this or that". But I didn't really listen and get real with that person on where they were at. Or gave them a place to feel safe. Of course there is a huge fear factor about being real. Let's take just one aspect of it. Your house. Now, if you are like me, you compare your old 1921 house which needs interior painting and repairs and updates and upgrades with a few of your women friends' homes which are modern and clean and uncluttered. You think to yourself, "I can never invite them to my house" after you've been to theirs, and you long to ask them "how do you keep everything so nice and clean even if you do have a dog?" or "how do not save stuff and keep things uncluttered?" (I am a sort of cluttery person, but as I get older I long for simplicity and streamlining things). In the past, before my living room needed serious painting, I used to like to have tea parties at my house or candle parties and the like. And I still would love to do that. But what holds me back (I say) is the painting that is needed. So why don't I do it? Why don't I just clean the walls and paint? (Or my husband says if I clean the walls then we can paint, meaning he will help me) Well, I don't know the answer. Maybe I am just too lazy about it. Maybe it's really not that important to paint so then I really will have to have people over like I say I do. Maybe it all boils down to I feel 'less than' about my house for other people to come over. And really, my house is not that bad, I think I just use it as an excuse to not want to 'do the work' it takes to have people over. And I think it may be because I don't want to be judged by other women for what I have or don't have. But why can't I just be real, with who I am, and what I have? Really, most women might just be happy to have an invitation over for lunch or a tea party or something, and could care less about my living room needing paint. There are some young single women at church in their late 20's who I really love and have done some college campus Bible studies with and I know they'd love to come over for a tea party. I need to just get the room painted (and since Tim is on strike, he does have some time if I just get the walls cleaned).
Anyway, it's early in the morning and I am probably just rambling here. My friend who left her husband five years ago and divorced him was in another relationship that was not healthy and she has just recently freed herself from that situation and moved to a rental house in town with her 20 year old daughter. She invited me over for lunch this Saturday, and I am really excited to see her, as we were best buddies for years, and then over the past few years she's been going through a lot of changes and kind of kept some of us old friends at arm's length. But now she is getting back to her old self on things and we had a good long talk this summer and broke through some barriers and got real and authentic with each other which was great.
Tim pulled double strike duty Monday night, meaning he drove the van for 8 hours taking people to the gates and back to the union hall, etc. It's been almost three weeks but still no talks. We are doing okay for now. I am planning to post tomorrow my blessings for the week like I did last week, that was fun to do and uplifting. The news on the financial stuff this week has been unbelievable, but I know God is the provider and no matter what, if we hang onto Him the best we can we will get through.
Don't you find that if someone shares a story about their weakness or failure or mistake or how they really feel it makes you breathe a sigh of relief, and you feel that you can share the same also?
Anyway, it's early in the morning and I am probably just rambling here. My friend who left her husband five years ago and divorced him was in another relationship that was not healthy and she has just recently freed herself from that situation and moved to a rental house in town with her 20 year old daughter. She invited me over for lunch this Saturday, and I am really excited to see her, as we were best buddies for years, and then over the past few years she's been going through a lot of changes and kind of kept some of us old friends at arm's length. But now she is getting back to her old self on things and we had a good long talk this summer and broke through some barriers and got real and authentic with each other which was great.
Tim pulled double strike duty Monday night, meaning he drove the van for 8 hours taking people to the gates and back to the union hall, etc. It's been almost three weeks but still no talks. We are doing okay for now. I am planning to post tomorrow my blessings for the week like I did last week, that was fun to do and uplifting. The news on the financial stuff this week has been unbelievable, but I know God is the provider and no matter what, if we hang onto Him the best we can we will get through.
Don't you find that if someone shares a story about their weakness or failure or mistake or how they really feel it makes you breathe a sigh of relief, and you feel that you can share the same also?
2 comments:
Hi Kelly, I bet you'd be surprised, even amazed, at the number of women who have had those same thoughts about their houses. We have somehow become so competitive about everything in our lives. I look at my house and see what needs to be done. My friends look at my house and see calmness and serenity and welcome. Wish I could see it through their eyes! Ignore the paint, bake some cookies and hug their necks as they come in the door. You'll be so glad you did. blessings, marlene
Hi,
Thanks for droping by my blog. We women really are a funny breed. I guess we all feel inadequate and self-conscious of our homes. Thinking back on the many homes I've visited, the ones I thought were the best was always the ones that had the most loving hostess. Nothing else seemed to matter!
Blessings,
Cyndy
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